Today has been exactly what it should be: a day of rest. I've been doing some thinking over the past few weeks about what it means to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. I'd like to try and develop a "rule of life" concerning the Sabbath that could help me to truly observe it, while also avoiding becoming legalistic about the idea. It's not that I think there's anything special or sacred about any particular day of the week; it's that I strongly feel (and is seems that Scripture would back me up) that setting one day aside every week as a sabbath day, set apart for rest, enjoyment and worship, is not just beneficial: it's essential to a healthy physical and spiritual life.

I think one thing I'd like to try and incorporate into my life would be to avoid any sort of work (at a job, for money) on Sunday and to avoid doing anything which would cause someone else to have to work: buying groceries, traveling, going to the movies, etc. I'm not sure if that's at all practical without imposing on anyone else or creating any inconvenience, but I think it's worth exploring at the very least.

I had a real good talk with Darrell Jr. yesterday. We spent some time in the word together, talked about some stuff from our lives - struggles, triumphs, thoughts on the trip so far, etc. - and prayed for the team and for our impending trip to Latvia. He's one of those rare people who is able to fill the roles of friend, mentor, and leader simultaneously, and I always enjoy getting to know him better. Plus he's a fellow surfer, so that means we have a connection which starts us at a much deeper level than most relationships do.

Last night I decided (or rather, I felt led, and for once I listened to my heart) to skip supper and spend some time praying for the team. I felt really burdened for the well-being of a couple of people in particular, and I didn't know how else to reach out to them except through prayer. I spent some time praying for the team in general, too - for unity, cross-cultural relations, and a solidarity of purpose. It was really hard to bring myself to skip supper; it was homemade pizza with strawberry-rhubarb crisp for dessert (rhubarb that I had picked, no less!). But, perhaps abstaining from something I'd genuinely enjoy is more meaningful (and powerful?) that simply skipping a bread and spread meal.

I'd just been talking about the idea of fasting with Darrell that morning when we were chatting, especially the idea that sometimes people use a potential lack of secrecy as an excuse not to fast, and how that doesn't seem to be the main thrust of Matthew 6. The big idea seems to be, where is your reward going to come from, men or heaven? If we fast in secret the Lord will reward us, but that doesn't necessarily make fasting sinful if it's impossible to be totally inconspicuous. It seems that the potential reward may be lessened if we receive praise in this life, and while fasting in order to be seen by others is obviously not the best motive it doesn't seem to make sense that complete secrecy is essential for fasting to be holy. It's about motives, and where we plan on getting our reward from.

(Brief sidenote: why am I even writing about this, knowing that people will read it? Isn't that sort of blowing my own horn, and completely forfeiting any potential heavenly reward? Maybe... yikes. I don't know. I'd like to think my motives are completely pure, but honestly, I'm not sure. But I don't feel like doing a ton of erasing, so out of sheer laziness I'll just let it ride).

Anyways, even though I figured it would be impossible to operate completely under the radar, I decided that it was something that I needed to do. And wow... I can't believe how quickly God started working on some of the things I was really burdened about. Should I be surprised? Nope, but I am. I've begun to realize that I'm still hesitant to pray with the complete confidence that God will answer my requests. This is probably some leftover baggage from times in the past where I was absolutely confident that God would answer my prayer, but He ended up having other plans in mind. I want that confidence and trust back... I'm sick of praying and trusting at a 90-95% level. I want it all, potential disappointment and pain be dammed.

Another bright spot to the fasting experience was that I got to break my mini-fast (note: I know that skipping one meal is a pansy fast. But anything more than that would seem to be a bit extreme given the current setting. Plus, I was hungry) down on the dock this morning when we celebrated Communion together and had a little church service. Fasting is good for my soul, of that I'm sure... I need to do a better job of incorporating it more regularly into my life. A Sabbath is also good for me, and today was a proper one in all regards. We had a monstrous pancake brunch after "church," and as I was quite ready for some physical food at that point in the day I ended up putting down a solid baker's dozen of blueberry/raspberry/chocolate chip pancakes. De-licious.

The next three days are going to be "work days," as we have a wide range of projects to do in and around the hostel before we head off to Latvia at the end of the week. I'm looking forward to doing some good man-work around here, which will hopefully also serve to deepen and further cement relationships within the team, as well as get some projects and renovations accomplished. We've had a few more additions to the house over the past couple days: another Brit, Lidya, has joined the team (she'll be going with us to Latvia), as well as a couple of Darrell's friends from the U.S., Robert and Jim, who are both carpenters and are here to help us with the work week. Thomas and Anina are also here with their family; they co-own/run Elvheim, along with Darrell and Annette and a couple other families.

I think I'm ready for bed... I'm probably forgetting or skipping over something important, but sleep calls. I'm the last person up, even though it's only 11:30, but the next couple of days are going to be busy ones.